‘Back off my son’: Husband Yells at Step-son Every Time He Goes Near New Baby, Mother Gets Involved

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 26, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet enthusiasts. When having a new baby, there's a lot a parent can be terrified and worried about. The world is a scary place, there's bad people, disease, freak accidents, the list goes on and on. A newborn baby is just so vulnerable; their immune system isn't developed, and they don't have the physical strength to fight off anything. They need to be protected, but of course, there's a limit. 

More people should educate themselves on human health and the human body. Not all 'germs' are bad. Actually, it's important for newborns to be exposed to certain foods, pathogens, and germs to develop antibodies and tolerances. It's all a natural part of life. But that's not what this father things. 

This Reddit story follows a family, where the couple thinks they couldn't have any more kids. The woman has one child from a previous marriage, so it already creates a weird dynamic between the son and his step-father. But we'll let you read the story below for the full scoop about this family's feud. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH ⚫ 17 hr. ago Sad_Engineering_1919 AITA for telling my husband to back off of my son?
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 02
    My husband and I have been together since my oldest (13) was 2. I was told years ago I would never be able to conceive another child, due to only having one fallopian tube (one had to be removed) and having significant scaring. However, we did end up pregnant last year by some
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 03
    miracle and I just gave birth to our daughter 3 weeks ago. Everyone was over the moon, including my son. He had wanted a sibling and had been asking since he was easily 3 or 4. But my husband is weird now. Or at least in my eyes. And I guess that is
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 04
    what I'm here to talk about..
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 05
    So.. if my son kisses the baby on the FOREHEAD my husband starts freaking out ("don't you ever kiss that baby again, that's disgusting, you could give her a virus" etc etc). If my son moves even a centimeter while holding the baby, my husband is freaking out ("don't move like that! You're
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 06
    going to hurt her head.") If my son blows raspberries on the babies belly, my husband tells him to stop, saying he's being too rough. He has become an helicopter parent, filled with paranoia and anxiety (but refuses to be seen by a doctor) and it's
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 07
    just.. I'm starting to rage. To a point where I have an appointment to get tested for postpartum rage but I truly don't think I have it. I think my husband is triggering me.
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 08
    But here's the massive issue... My MIL came here yesterday and full on kissed our daughter right beside her mouth and my husband didn't say . Just sat there smiling. So, I stepped in and said exactly what he said to my son. I said "don't you ever kiss that baby again. That's
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 09
    disgusting. You are going to give her a virus." She immediately stopped. But then she started. swinging our daughter in a football hold with her head pointed down toward the floor. She was going pretty fast, to a point of a startle reflux. So I immediately told her to stop
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 10
    holding the baby like that and that she's being too rough. She says "I've had 4 kids, I am not dumb", so I said "I don't care". She stops, hands off the baby and then left maybe 5 minutes later. My husband asks why I'm being to his mom, so I such an
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 11
    said "why are you being such an to my son?" He asked what I meant and asked for examples so I gave him the side by side comparison examples to his mother vs my son. He shakes his head and said I'm "making up". I know for a fact I'm not
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 12
    making anything up at all (I've spoken to him before about getting for my son's case) and said plainly to back off my son or I'm going to treat all of his family members the same way he's been treating my son due to his paranoia and it will make it so no one comes around anymore. He
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 13
    says I'm taking too far. That kids "have germs" and are "more rough and clumsy". I told him I didn't give a
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 14
    And YES, I have talked to him about his comments to my son. Right in front of my son and in private. He says I'm blowing things out of proportion.
    via u/Sad_Engineering_1919
  • 15
    Tall-Negotiati... 16h ago NTA. Your son sounds like a good big brother and your husband is being ridiculous. I think you should make it clear to your husband that he needs to get help or you are going to leave. Please
    via u/Tall-Negotiati
  • 16
    don't let your son get shamed for doing completely normal things and make him feel like he can't be around his sister without getting attacked by your husband. If your husband keeps this up your
    via u/Tall-Negotiati
  • 17
    son might start to distance himself from her. It's important that you don't forget your son's mental health because you are more focus on the baby and husband. Both kids are important.
    via u/Tall-Negotiati
  • 18
    And I honestly dislike your MIL's comment about her having 4 kids and therefore knows what's she's doing. I'm sorry but just because her kids survived to adulthood doesn't mean she necessarily didn't do stupid . What she was doing to
    via u/Tall-Negotiati
  • 19
    a 3 week old, does seem a bit much in my opinion.
    via u/Tall-Negotiati
  • 20
    BeachinLife1 • 16h ago Your MIL was swinging a THREE WEEK OLD around. like a football and your idiot husband thinks KIDS are rough? Tell him he hasn't seen "out of proportion" yet.
    via u/BeachinLife1
  • 21
    P... • 16h ago 16h ago Edited 14h ago I believe you're a great mom for standing up for your son. My step dad started being the same way with me when I was younger after he had his biological daughter to the point where I was kicked
    via u/P
  • 22
    out of the house. I know my mom loves me but not enough to choose me over my stepdad so by comparison I think you are a very strong and kind person for standing up for your son.
    via u/P
  • 23
    longlisten527 • 15h ago Your husband is being a complete AH. Marriage counseling ASAP. If he continues this behavior, take both of your kids and yourself somewhere else. He just gaslit the you NTA out of
    via u/longlisten527
  • 24
    Individual_You_6... • 16h ago You need counselling, and if your husband can't stop his nonsense, you need to get away from there.
    via u/Individual_You_6
  • 25
    Sadly many men “forget” about their stepchildren and replace them with their bio children even after 10+ years of parenting. And especially when the kids in question are boys/ teenage boys.
    via u/Individual_You_6
  • 26
    The stepdads start to go testosterone drunk and pretend they are the silverback competing with new contestant for the throne.
    via u/Individual_You_6
  • 27
    They don't seem to understand that they are just a dad suddenly turning into a bully, seen from the view point of the boy!
    via u/Individual_You_6
  • 28
    Fire_or_water_kai • 16h ago NTA I get that some people feel that OP was just "taking it out" on MIL, but the truth is NO ONE should be kissing babies near their mouths. Let alone swinging them
    via u/Fire_or_water_kai
  • 29
    around. I'll quote Judge Judy and say, "It's called an accident, not an 'on purpose."" happens, and intent doesn't mean much if your kid is seriously hurt.
    via u/Fire_or_water_kai
  • 30
    OP's husband is being a hypocritical even if PPD is involved. Hopefully, they navigate through this.
    via u/Fire_or_water_kai

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